The short version of all my yapping below is this: If you think you might be at all interested based on the pics, send me a shot. You will have clear, concise details, and an accurate assessment of me as a per within 5 minutes or less. No fuss, no muss, no bullshit to make you cuss. So say hey and stuff. Enough said. BUT if you still want to read the big rant I entertained myself with by writing, have at it. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\***Currently drafting The Great American Hook Up Bio, as required by the site and all of you . Wow...back in the day, it was just pic, pic, quick chat, you wanna? and BOOM! You had it faster and easier than you could hail a cab in these parts. But now, apparently, it takes not only as much information as your typical job application, but then most everyone seems to also want some sort of creative writing essay. Oh - and it shouldn't be about sex or any of that sort of tawdry business. It should be about something completely unrelated and preferably with some underlying profound meaning. They tell you this in the little blurbs right under the main pic of their throbbing dicks and gaping pussies, so if you're new here be careful and don't get distracted and lose your focus. I know I did. If I had it to do all over again, I would have typed that puppy up before I even clicked my way in. Not the easiest thing to collect your thoughts on all of that information and reflection when you've already arrived with one thing on your mind, nor is it particularly easy to type it all out with one lubed hand. But type we must! Warnings are everywhere that no doors (or legs) will open without all the appropriate literature. So it's coming (probably sooner than I will around here), and just you wait. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll cream in your pants. It will be just that good, completely on par with all these photographs I've posted that show me at my best. Then we can finally get on to the business at hand of ignoring or rejecting one another for being too fat, too thin, too close, too far, too black, too white or, if nothing else, having a pecker that just ain't quite enough or whatever. But perhaps then we'll at least be talking, and I think that will be grand. In this day and age, you just can't put a price on that sort of human interaction. Oh, wait...

My Ideal Person After several attempts at crafting some beautiful bullshit, I've decided to just be honest with not just all of you, but me.

ME.

My ideal person, at least for this sort of thing, is someone like me. That means someone who really is intending to actually make contact with other human beings and wants to make every effort to expedite the process and cut out all non-essential fuss. That means someone who is ready do a quick back and forth pic exchange without lame excuses for not having face and/or body shots or a cam or what not. It means someone willing to then make some sort of contact, on the phone or preferably on something to get that next level of feel for one another and how we meet mesh. And then, if those two steps are cleared, to set up the time, place and all that - and SHOW UP.

Once you're there, be friendly and respectful of the host and and any related property. If you have any "enhancements" you prefer to enjoy, that's your business, but refrain from hanging out of doors and windows, yelling, running naked through the halls or yard or in any other way attracting the ire of neighbors or law enforcement. And arrive with the understanding ahead of time that you can clear all the previous steps and still be horny as hell, but find for whatever reason that once you're face to face, there isn't any "there" there after all. And if that happens, the plan is to then to either respectfully bail or hang cordially and socially while recognizing that I will probably still be hunting while we're chatting. Or something like that - just don't come with absolute expectations. Nothing is ever certain until it's certain.

Let's see....what else? Oh....enjoy people and intimacy BIG TIME. Nakedness is always welcome because with nudity comes vulnerability, and the more open you let yourself be to me, the better I feel about you. Don't put on pretense, say what you mean and scratch where it itches. (And don't steal or get weird or violent, but I would hope that would go without saying.) And if you can go from a fuck to telling a naked ghost story or something totally down to earth, but random and then right back to fuck without missing a beat, you are golden. Do your best to let your host know that it's ok to relax in your presence because you have not come with ill intent.

Yeah....that's pretty much me at these sorts of things. Damn, that's hot. I'm good people and good company, so there you go...

Ideally, be like me.