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What do I look like 7/29/2016
This woman could never get her husband to do anything around
the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the
tv, eat dinner, and sit some more. He would never do those
little household repairs that most husbands take care
of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet
stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly,
"Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look ...
2 Comments, 61 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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You’re one in a million 7/28/2016
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy,
there are still a thousand others exactly like you. 
0 Comments, 18 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Japanese economy 7/27/2016
Fully half of all Japanese women are part- time or temporary
workers. Most will leave the workforce for good after having
their first . Which leads me to ask, who designed the
Japanese economy, a 1950's soap opera director.
3 Comments, 35 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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Remembering the Plan 7/21/2016
A Blonde and a Brunette are going to rob a bank. The day before
the robbery the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Do
you remember the plan?"
"Yes, " says the blonde.
"Well let's go over it, " says the Brunette.
The day of the robbery the Brunette insists that they go
over the plan again so they do. "You have 5 Minutes, "
says the Brunette. Twenty minutes go by and finally ...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
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luv it!!! 7/20/2016
A father told his 3 when he sent them to college:
"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best
possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that.
However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1, 000
into my coffin when I die.
And so it happened, one became a doctor, one a lawyer, and
one a financial planner, each very financially successful. ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
17 Votes
,5.81 Score
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joke 7/20/2016
post your funny joke here! original funny joke that is
0 Comments, 16 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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joke 7/20/2016
post you funny joke here!
0 Comments, 3 Views,
2 Votes
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joke 7/20/2016
post you funny joke here!
0 Comments, 4 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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Social Security Office 7/18/2016
A retired gentleman went to apply for social security.
After waiting in line for quite a long time, he arrived at
the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for
his identification to verify his age. He looked in his pockets
and realized he has left his wallet at home. He told the woman
that he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will
I have to go home and come back now?” he asked. ...
3 Comments, 111 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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Toast 7/17/2016
A good man Rich, was with his friends having a contest to
see who could make the best drinking toast. He hoisted his
beer and said, "Here's to the rest of my life between
the legs of my wife!" And that won him the prize that
night.
He went home and told his wife that he won the prize for the
best toast. She asekd, "What was your toast?"
Not wanting to get in trouble he said, "Heres to ...
2 Comments, 99 Views,
12 Votes
,5.10 Score
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right size!!! 7/15/2016
Does size matter to women?
FRIENDS !!!
Women's response to:
2 inches - I can't even hold it. 3 inches - Never been so unsatisfied. 4 inches- I've had bigger than that. 5 inches- Good, but I wish a bit bigger! 6 inches - Perfect. 7 inches - Love it. 8 inches - Wow! But can't have it all. 9 inches - Painful but manageable. 10 inches - Too much pressure ...
5 Comments, 95 Views,
17 Votes
,5.53 Score
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Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere 7/15/2016
A man walks into a bar and sees a good looking smart dressed
woman perched on a barstool. He walks up behind her and says,
“Hi there, good looking, how’s it going?”
She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye
and says, “Listen, I’ll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere,
your place, my place, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been
doing it ever since I got out of college. I ...
3 Comments, 112 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Golf and Public Restroom Similarities 7/14/2016
10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder
width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead
of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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One liner 7/14/2016
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women
wild? Answer: $100 bill
3 Comments, 16 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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How Long Has It Been? 7/13/2016
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day
a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you!” Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here along
time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information
the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives
the man cigarette. ...
3 Comments, 105 Views,
12 Votes
,3.33 Score
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Overheard at the lawyer's office 7/10/2016
Attorney: "I'm sorry, Mr. Mouse, but insanity
is not grounds for divorce in this state."
Mickey: "God damn it, I didn't say she was crazy.
I said she was fucking Goofy!"
2 Comments, 49 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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The Sheer Negligee 7/8/2016
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase
a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities
that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the sheerer, the
higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item,
pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife
and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs, the wife thinks ...
4 Comments, 172 Views,
18 Votes
,5.17 Score
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When I grow up... 7/8/2016
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you
grow up?”
Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to
the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give
her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in
Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe,
an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times
a day”.
The ...
2 Comments, 94 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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The tweeker and the dude in the old looking lamp... 7/8/2016
A tweeker is out digging thru a dumpster one night and he
finds a old looking lamp thing and starts to try and shine
it up so he can take it to a pawn shop or somewhere later. Well
a little poof of smoke came out and turned into some dude.
The dude said ", I'm a genie. And since you
helped me I'll give you three wishes."
The tweeker says, "I want a big bag of meth!",
the genie says."Ok." ...
3 Comments, 85 Views,
14 Votes
,2.50 Score
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beep beep!! 7/8/2016
One day a father and his five year old went to the bank
to cash a check. There was a few people in front of them waiting
for the bank teller. The lady in front of them was a rather
large well dressed business lady.The could not help
but notice her size. "Dad looks at her! She is so huge!"The
father replied, "Be quiet! You must be polite and
don"t hurt her feelings."The persisted,
"But dad she ...
5 Comments, 111 Views,
20 Votes
,4.91 Score
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I'm not horny 7/7/2016
Just kidding i am
1 Comments, 12 Views,
4 Votes
,0.53 Score
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Fart Joke 7/6/2016
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor,
I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really
bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent.
as a matter of fact, I have farted at least 10 times since
I have been here in your office. Neither You or anyone else
knew I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent.
The doctor, wrinkling up his nose, ...
2 Comments, 73 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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And the moral of the story is... 7/4/2016
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get
their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end
of it. The next day the came back and one by one began
to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have
a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs
to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when
we hit a bump in the road and ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score
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This Must be Santa Claus Lucky Month! 7/3/2016
We know Santa Claus comes in December, Now they want us to
believe he Comes twice a year? I wonder if Mrs. Claus Knows
about Christmas in July? We Know in Australia it is Summer time December 24, does
this mean its Winter in July, Down Under? Maybe we should carry this Step Ladder to make it A Federal
Case in a Higher Court... Because we all Know there is no
Sanity Clause...
Enjoy ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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this website 7/3/2016
the jokes on you if your a standard member. you cant do much
with out gold. go gold
2 Comments, 18 Views,
5 Votes
,0.21 Score
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Good Blowjob. 7/3/2016
How do you know when you've had a good blowjob?
...
...
You have to burp her to get your balls back.
4 Comments, 31 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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horny cock!! 7/2/2016
reply to this post rate flag
Rodney the Rooster
A farmer has a bunch of hens that are not producing many eggs.
So one morning he goes out and buys a young horny rooster
and names him Rodney.
The first day Rodney nails every hen on the farm and at the
end of the day the farmer finds Rodney trying to screw his
. The farmer walks over to Rodney and says "You've ...
4 Comments, 108 Views,
14 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Little Johnny and a Moral 7/1/2016
One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher
asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded
with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My
dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs
on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.
Well, one ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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dollars and sense!!! 6/30/2016
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting
an alternative to the Wyoming ranchers for controlling
the coyote population. It seems that after years of the
ranchers using the tried and true method of shooting or
trapping the predators, the Sierra Club had a "more
humane" solution to this issue. What they were proposing
was for the animals to be captured alive. The males would
then ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Family 6/30/2016
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father,
surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through
three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...
1 Comments, 68 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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