My Blog

Okay, so I'm being a bit sarcastic with that meme ... I'm pretty average looking.

So here’s the scoop on me.

Keep me stimulated on all levels: I'm as much interested in what's in your brain as what is protruding from your groin. Looking for the right combination of personality, intelligence, sexiness, humor, physique and humility. In other words, the Unicorn.

Physically, I tend to be attracted to men who are 5’10” or taller, athletic, short, dark hair. Bonus hottie points for a goatee, but if you’re restricted to no facial hair because of military, police or other job rules, that’s cool too. 45-60 is an ideal age range for me.

My ultimate desire is to find a monogamous LTR, and yes, I know I will never find it here. No condescending lectures please. Hint: debating, badgering or criticizing anyone on this site about their preferences is not cool. I block freely if someone gets weird with me or if they are just too stalkerish - you have been warned.

Physically, I am not athletic or svelte. I’m 5’8” tall, curvy and post-menopausal. This means I’m not built like a female body-builder, my skin isn’t taut, my boobs aren’t perky. I stay active but I’m not a gym rat. Salt-n-pepper hair, sometimes looks more salt than pepper, depending on the light. Not drop-dead gorgeous, but not homely either.

I’m not into a bunch of kinks. If you are a man and have photos of yourself dressed like a woman, we’re not suited for each other. If you are on this site as a couple, we’ll never be more than chat buddies, at best.

For those who give a rat's ass, I'm basically an INTP personality (Introverted Intuitive Thinking Perceiver). Look it up if you’re unfamiliar with personality types.

I have one health issue that often deters potential suitors looking for quick sex; I’ll leave it at that. It’s a very private matter that I generally do not discuss in print.

Just looking for a few good chat friends, or maybe one special friend, so don't get needy. As a general rule, DON'T hit me up for chats if you're working on your morning or midnight-hour wood. Also don't anticipate anything beyond a non-sexual friendship from me if you are MARRIED or ATTACHED.

If I don't respond to your IM on your first (or 2nd or 3rd) try, it might be the fault of this site. If I don't respond to your continual IMs, it means I'm not interested. Take the hint and move on please...I'm really not into you.

If you ask me for a pic in chat, you need to be willing to share one first. I'm not interested in seeing your private-reserve dick pics, and no, I don't have naked pics to share, get over that.

In my ideal world, I’d live with a view of both the mountains and the ocean, in a warm but not humid climate, lots of sunshine. I currently do not live in any of those biomes.

I enjoy blogging, sharing my thoughts … it’s a release for me that I don’t have elsewhere. I also enjoy reading other thoughtful and humorous blogs, written in English. In my private life, I enjoy digging in the dirt to grow things, movie-going, and my preference in fiction is historical novels, who-dunits, psychological thrillers, etc.

I still work full-time, and am hoping to leave that life next year. I’ll always work, but the second version will be on my own terms and of my own design.

Congratulations, you made it all the way to the end! If you still want to IM me, open with this line: "I made it all the way to the end!"
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Here we go again ...
Posted:Dec 13, 2018 6:32 pm
Last Updated:Dec 14, 2018 1:56 pm
Soooooooo ... had a second chat with a guy that started out well enough but rapidly disintegrated to a pile of ... you guessed it ... bullshit, lol.

No point at all in going into details ... we've all been there, done that.

But instead of mulling over the reasons why I yet again wanted to pull my hair out from the frustration of chatting with somebody all to have it go to shit ... instead, please get a giggle out of these memes...

To chat or not to chat
Posted:Dec 11, 2018 3:44 am
Last Updated:Dec 12, 2018 4:29 pm

The point of an IM or a chat room is to chat, yes?

Aside from the technical glitches this site is known for, there are frequently a number of IMs that come my way where there is an intro statement, "Hi," (Yeah, not great opening material) followed by a response from me, then ..... nothing.

W.T.H. is that all about?

Oh yeah, wait ... ASIDE from the technical glitches this site is known for, that's the 'I-think-I'll-open-a-chat-with-her-so-I-have-something-to-fantasize-about-while-I-stroke' strategy.


Thanks guys, but no thanks. Don't waste my time or your three free IMs for the day.

Posted:Dec 9, 2018 5:36 pm
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2018 4:05 pm

I realize that I am treading some very dangerous water here by sharing this particular blog entry, but as the expression goes ‘the truth will set you free.’ Consider this a rare rant about something serious, something about sex, and something besides the frivolous commentary usually seen in blogs here.

Many of the profiles posted on this and similar sites contain the phrase “D&D free,” or similar wording. I don’t dispute that the owners of those profiles intend for that phrase to assure their potential lovers that no nasty bugs will pass during coitus, but it’s a weak bit of reassurance, IMO. Unless you are tested immediately before having sex with someone, and get those results immediately, your previous status means very little, especially since the standard tests are usually limited to about 6 different diseases, and there are about 30 actual STDs/STIs. Test results are only as good as the day your samples were tested; if you have sex the day after, you run the risk of becoming less-than D&D free. Nevertheless, I get it. It’s intended to imply … safety .. and the person in the profile is probably hoping that the self-labeling will get him/her laid quicker or more often.


From the perspective of a person with an incurable (but quite common) STD, please let me share my thoughts.

I contracted HSV2 from someone over 30 years ago and I didn't even know I had it until I had a breakout after I became a mother (the change in my personal biology probably triggered the breakout.) Sexual safety wasn’t as big an issue then as it is now, at least not in my social circle. The bigger concern was an unwanted pregnancy. I don’t know who gave it to me, and I’m not sure if he even knew he had it. Regardless, he was guilty of spreading an STD, and I was guilty of naivete and not asking the right question beforehand. Done and done.

But let’s put one thing right out there and dispel some misconceptions. Well, maybe a couple of things.

First, it only takes ONE sexual experience to contract a disease. It could be your first sexual encounter, or your 500th … it just takes one time with someone who carries a virus or a bacteria that could be passed to you. This is not a morality issue people … STDs are a fact of life, and everyone who is sexually active is subject to contracting something, sometime in their lifetime. And on the issue of morality … check any ‘holier-than-thou’-ness at the door. Consensual sex is not the only way to contract a disease; if you are a child you are just as likely to contract HSV1 by getting a kiss from your great Aunt Martha when you’re a kid and then guilty if you spread it as an adult to someone you have oral sex with. And lest we dare forget, victims of sexual assault are often the unluckiest of the unlucky … they are crime victims but can also be the unwilling recipient of STDs in the process. So much for moral judgments.

Second … it rankles me that a person without an STD (or perceived to have no infectious disease) calls themselves “clean,” while anyone with an STD is considered the opposite … “dirty.” This is how slut-shaming, stereotypes and bad jokes are allowed to exist unchecked. Consider that STDs or STIs have been at all-time highs for the past several years, and then decide if it’s wise to point the finger. How many people are guilty of spreading infection because they are in denial about their own health, too scared to disclose to potential partners, or just don’t give a damn about anyone else except themselves? How many of your friends or relatives may be silently suffering when the horrible jokes are made and everyone laughs about STDs, or when you brag about your own ‘cleanliness?’

I disclose to anyone I might be considering having sex with, if our relationship gets to that level, and I don't take it lightly. It is the right thing to do. And yes, it gets me shut down most of the time. And yes, I will get some email or responses to this that will consist of name-calling or lectures, telling me I’m dirty, disgusting or whatever other self-righteous beratement they can come up with. But that’s okay. I’d rather take the high road than be accused of being deceitful. I’d rather give a potential lover the choice, because I wasn’t given the choice and I have paid the price. WIth medication, use of condoms and avoidance during times when I am most likely to pass an infection, there is only about a 1% chance of me spreading my illness to a partner. I was married for 32 years and my late husband never contracted it. Much better odds to have sex with me than with someone who doesn’t know their risk factor, or worse, who knows and doesn’t disclose to you. Just saying...

Don’t tell me you’re sorry about my situation, and don’t give in to the hype. Speak your truth and support others who are not brave enough to speak their own truth yet.

The truth will set us all free.
Bloom where you're planted ...
Posted:Dec 2, 2018 6:01 pm
Last Updated:Dec 4, 2018 4:15 am

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
Here we go again ... (11)FresnoWoman
Dec 14, 2018 3:29 pm
To chat or not to chat (5)wantaplay8
Dec 12, 2018 4:23 pm
Dec 10, 2018 7:26 am
Bloom where you're planted ... (5)Xjesmok
Dec 2, 2018 8:47 pm